国外也有段子手：蓝月当空，红军犹荣！

小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，曼城战胜布莱顿，成功卫冕英超冠军；利物浦以97分的积分成为英超最强亚军；切尔西、热刺、阿森纳和曼联则位列3-6名。与此同时，英超球队热刺和利物浦、阿森纳和切尔西则分别会师欧冠和欧联杯决赛，巴萨在联赛取胜，而皇马则意外输给皇家社会。好了，话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧！

卫冕英超！曼城4-1布莱顿

BAREFOOTPigs(未知主队球迷)：要是还有第二回合就好了，要知道领先3球可是最致命的啊！(If only there was a second leg. The 3 lead would be lethal.)

new1sh_old1sh(切尔西球迷)：为了不要3-0的领先，曼城已经让布莱顿先进一球了…(City had to let them score first to prevent a 3-0 lead clearly.)

MyTeaJustWentCold(阿森纳球迷)：曼城赢下布莱顿就庆祝得像赢了联赛冠军一样？呵呵，果然是没底蕴！(City celebrate beating Brighton like they’ve won the league? Smh my head small club mentality.)

Strichars(曼联球迷)：钱并不能买来底蕴，却可以给你的球队买个世界杯冠军中场。(Money cannot make you become big club but can buy you a world cup winner midfield.)

Sidaeinjae(曼联球迷)：总比在补时第4分钟绝杀夺冠好多了…(Better now than a 90+4.)

Wild0East(未知主队球迷)：在自己球队输给卡迪夫城两个球的同时，曼联球迷还要给同城对手的比赛加油，真是有点心酸…(Seeing United fans cheering for their city rivals while losing 2 to Cardiff is so pathetic.)

Borgatronification(阿森纳球迷)：布莱顿真是继席恩-葛雷乔伊之后最差的防线了！(Brighton are the worst last line of defence since Theon.)

james-1990(利物浦球迷)：“布莱顿，你是个好人，谢谢你！”(“Brighton. You’re a good team. Thank you.”)

英雄悲歌，利物浦联赛97分获亚军

Echiptian_King(利物浦球迷)：想要夺得英超冠军，恐怕我们要拿下全部114分并且一球不失了！(We might just have to finish on 114 points and concede 0 goals to win this league.)

OnOff58(利物浦球迷)：然后又因为净胜球比曼城少而获得亚军...(Then we are still the second because city have a better goal differnce.)

(图)：利物浦球迷：我想在死之前体验一下“那种”感觉...

Yiurule(法国球迷)：真希望利物浦拿下联赛冠军啊，他们的成绩真心配得上！(Hope that Liverpool would win the title, they deserve it after all of this.)

Kanadagoose_(未知主队球迷)：那积分更高的曼城岂不是更配得上…(Well city deserves more with more points.)

redbull123(苏格兰球迷)：第一支只输了2场联赛却未能夺冠的球队是2008-09赛季的利物浦，而第一支只输了1场联赛却没有夺冠的球队是2018-19年的利物浦。(First team to lose twice and not win the league: Liverpool 08-09. First team to lose once and not win the league: Liverpool 18-19)

mlb_fan_27(未知主队球迷)：2028-29年的利物浦将成为第一支赛季不败却没能夺冠的球队…(Liverpool 2028-29: First team to go invincible and not win the league.)

johnmerro1(埃弗顿球迷)：上次利物浦在联赛丢分还是在我们古迪逊公园球场，所以说是埃弗顿亲手摧毁了利物浦的联赛冠军梦！(The last Liverpool dropped points before today was at Goodison Park. So it's indeed Everton who have directly cost them the title.)

cynicalreason(利物浦球迷)：今天不是什么好日子…但曼联依然能给你带来一点小快乐。(It's not been the greatest day .. but small things like Utd can still bring you a bit of joy.)

获得第六，曼联0-2卡迪夫城

johny1195(曼联球迷)：现在所有人都去看冠军之战了，估计没人在乎我们曼联干啥了，那干脆我们就输给降级队吧！(Everyone is focused on the title race, so nobody will care how shit we are, might as well lose against relegated team.)

skinsaremylife(曼联球迷)：竟然在老特拉福德输给了降级球队，而更郁闷的是，他们上次还是索尔斯克亚给带降级的...(loosing to relagated team at old trafford. What makes it even worse is ole got them relegated.)

snusd0san(未知主队球迷)：自从索尔斯克亚转正以后，曼联就像泰坦尼克号一样沉底了，难道这些球员踢球就是为了给教练一个正式编制吗？(Since Solskjaer got the job they've sunk like the Titanic, seems like the lads were just playing to get him the job.)

d0mth0ma5(曼联球迷)：我们距离联赛榜首32分，距离降级区也是32分…(32 points off the top, 32 points above the relegation.)

OrangeSyringe(未知主队球迷)：耻辱啊，卡迪夫城竟然能落后曼联这么多分？(Shameful by Cardiff to be so far behind United.)

netone001(英格兰球迷)：每一周过去，大巴黎能被曼联逆转就显得更不可思议。(As every game week passes, it becomes more baffling how PSG lost to this shit.)

AngryPenguin501(英格兰球迷)：我们都去看利物浦和曼城了，竟然忘了来笑话一下曼联！(We were all busy watching Pool and City and forgot to laugh at United.)

逆转3球进决赛！热刺3-2阿贾克斯

blindpillow69(未知主队球迷)：这真是继昨天以来最具震撼的大逆转了！(Biggest football comback since 24 hrs.)

MagyarFoci29(未知主队球迷)：英超球队简直比囧-雪诺还要有主角光环！(The premier league has more plot armour than Jon Snow.)

decimatech(利物浦球迷)：巴萨和它的青年队可以啊，在领先3球后的表现都差不多嘛！(Concerning for Barca that their youth squad is showing a similar issue with 3-0 leads.)

JustAPotatoo(多特蒙德球迷)：果然是巴萨DNA！(BARCA DNA!)

Slapthatvex(未知主队球迷)：这赛季的欧冠比“权力的游戏”精彩多了！(CL better than GOT this season…)

get_choong(萨索洛球迷)：2019年的欧冠联赛一定是乔治-马丁写的！(2019 UEFA Champions League: A Tale by George R.R. Martin.)

Rutger88(根克球迷)：再也不喜欢足球了，这剧本就像WWE一样！(I don't believe football anymore, it's scripted like WWE.)

YaqootK(阿森纳球迷)：其实我一直都挺喜欢NBA的…(I always liked NBA tbh.)

Kriskobg(皇马球迷)：阿贾克斯踢得简直比巴萨还要巴萨！(This Ajax team plays more like Barcelona than Barcelona.)

McCartney(切尔西球迷)：在巴萨成为巴萨之前，阿贾克斯就已经是巴萨了。(Ajax were Barcelona before Barcelona were Barcelona tbh)

dh12mj23(热刺球迷)：评论区里已经没有热刺球迷了，因为我们都已经犯心脏病死掉了…(No Tottenham fans in top comments cause we all died of heart attacks.)

Confitur(巴黎球迷)：欧足联准备取消欧冠比赛，因为全欧洲得心脏病的人实在太多了！(UEFA to cancel the Champions League because of a sharp increase in heart attacks all over Europe.)

Xaynr(阿森纳球迷)：如果热刺夺得欧冠冠军，我就要请愿让阿森纳俱乐部原地解散！(If Tottenham win the CL, I’m starting a petition to delete Arsenal as a club.)

Zwandz(阿森纳球迷)：同意！想象一下那种酸爽的感觉——当我们拼欧联杯冠军的时候，人家热刺拿下欧冠冠军了…(Agreed. Imagine the strange feeling in your soul when we win EL, and they win CL.)

剑指冠军，蓝军枪手会师欧联杯决赛

discr33t_enough(曼联球迷)：又是欧冠，又是欧联，还有英超冠军之战啥的，英超前五过得都太紧张了！还是我们索帅对球迷好，让我们不再因为血压升高而烦恼。(All this tension for CL, EL and PL finals for the top 5 teams. Good guy Ole giving our team and fans a break from increased blood pressure.)

Reddiiiiiiit(未知主队球迷)：4支英超球队会师欧战决赛，曼城也在为国内三冠王而努力，而曼联却拥有一名不错的钢琴演奏家！(4 English clubs in European finals, City on for the domestic treble and Utd have a good piano player.)

Suboptimal_(切尔西球迷)：两支伦敦球队争夺冠军，但是要去阿塞拜疆踢决赛，这就是欧联杯最典型的事…(Classic Europa League. Two clubs from London travel to play each other in Azerbaijan.)

Scipio229(未知主队球迷)：2019年是英国无论如何也无法脱欧的一年。(2019 the year you just couldn't get England out of Europe.)

GameplayerStu(维拉球迷)：英国想要脱欧，但在离开之前要把欧洲所有的冠军都带走…(UK want out of Europe but they're taking all the trophies before they leave.)

比达尔进球，巴萨2-0赫塔费

BarneyrealG(巴萨球迷)：梅西根本就不庆祝进球，看到他这样真的让我很难过。(barely celebrating goals at all, it hurts to see messi like this.)

Jellyjiggler(未知主队球迷)：等巴萨失去了梅西，恐怕比皇马失去C罗的影响严重多了…(Post Messi barcelona might be a bigger mess than post Ronaldo Madrid.)

迪亚兹一条龙，皇马1-3皇家社会

Simpilicious(瑞典球迷)：明明感觉每周都能看见皇马像曼联一样输球的新闻，为啥他们最终还是能排在联赛第三？(How the fuck is Real Madrid still in third? Feels like I log onto a Post-Match Thread of a new loss every single weekend. just like United tbh.)

Pipekran(皇马球迷)：我们这场比赛表现最好的球员就算迪亚兹、维尼修斯和门柱君了…(Our performing players in this match: Brahim, Vinicius, and The Goalposts.)