小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，热刺凭借客场进球淘汰曼城，巴萨主场完胜曼联，尤文惨遭阿贾克斯逆转，而利物浦则兵不血刃斩落波尔图。周末联赛，利物浦和曼城纷纷取胜，曼联惨败埃弗顿，阿森纳不敌水晶宫，而巴萨、皇马则纷纷赢球，尤文也顺利取得意甲八连冠。好了，话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧！

争四形势严峻，曼联0-4埃弗顿

Taekucink(未知主队球迷)：曼联应该解雇索尔斯克亚，然后再立刻重新任命他为临时主帅！(United should sack Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and reappoint Ole Gunnar Solskjaer as interim manager.)

BritMachine(利物浦球迷)：这才是曼联最需要的——永恒的新教练蜜月期！(Thats all they needs - put him in a permanent honeymoon period.)

bouds19(利物浦球迷)：这就是我们要指望去战胜曼城的球队吗？莪。(This is the team we're relying on to take points off City? Fuck me.)

BadCowz(曼联球迷)：这其实是计划的一部分！好让我们看起来不是故意去输给曼城的…(This is all part of not making it look like we are throwing the game on purpose.)

gb_lmu(埃弗顿球迷)：我看炮hub时都不会举这么长…(Even pornhub can’t make erect for so long.)

toby_o_notoby(埃弗顿球迷)：我好了。(I’ve cumed.)

Ger971(曼联球迷)：我们今天输了球，然后再战胜曼城，亲手把英超冠军交给利物浦，最后再去踢欧联杯…握日尼玛...(We’re gonna lose here, beat city, hand Liverpool the title and go to the Europa league. Fuck this.)

alee1994(曼联球迷)：人生总是如此痛苦吗，还是只有你是曼联球迷时才这样？(Is life always this hard, or is it just when you're a united fan?)

MarioPogbatelli(曼联球迷)：马夏尔这赛季添孩子数量，比进的球都多了吧！(Martial has had more kids this season than he's scored goals.)

Skinsaremylife(曼联球迷)：欧联杯加入了群聊，博格巴退出了群聊。(Europa league has entered the chat. Pogba has left the chat.)

Zavehi(曼联球迷)：这是在踢欧冠第3回合吗？(Is this the third leg of Champions league?)

heyum20(埃弗顿球迷)：我们有3个前巴萨队员，说不定未来还能签下梅西呢！(We have 3 of barca former or current players. Maybe we can get Messi in the future.)

TheLifeofSonny(曼联球迷)：如果我们现在有足够多的球员被红牌罚下，那是不是就只被判0-3输球了？(If we get enough players sent off, Everton only win 3 nil right?)

KieranD9503(埃弗顿球迷)：到了赛季末再看吧，我们肯定会输给伯恩利然后再虐一通热刺…(Come back at the end of the season to watch us bottle it against Burnley then thrash Tottenham.)

Mrcstrlh(未知主队球迷)：这智商得有5000了！直接不去欧冠，这样不就能避免在欧冠碰见梅西啦！(5000 IQ move, avoiding Messi by avoiding CL all together.)

Wintex(曼联球迷)：我很好奇球员们到底知不知道在无球的时候也是可以跑动的…(I wonder if the players know that they can move when they don't have the ball.)

DarkSofter(曼联球迷)：握日哦，我竟然没去健身房，就为了看这场踢成翔的比赛？(We are fucking shocking im skipping gym to watch this dogshit.)

Miniatom(曼联球迷)：还是去健身房吧老铁，看这比赛对身体的伤害比吃麦当劳大多了…(Go to the gym mate. This is worse for your health than McDonalds.)

BrendaPham5190(未知主队球迷)：自从索尔斯克亚转正之后，曼联丢的分简直比我任何一门考试都多！(ManU dropped harder than my grade since Ole's appointment.)

Flyingfetusfacepalm(曼联球迷)：看来埃弗顿和曼联想要的都是欧联杯…(Both Everton and United wanted that Europa league spot.)

lost_biochemist(阿森纳球迷)：那能让切尔西也对这个感兴趣吗？(If only we could now get Chelsea interested in that position too...)

TheBirdOrTheCage(曼联球迷)：大家别担心，当年莫耶斯签的教练合同，还有两个月就到期啦！(Don’t worry everyone. Moyes’s contact ends in just over two months.)

StewardOfGondorS(未知主队球迷)：会不会这就是曼联一直以来的诅咒…(That's gotta be some kind of curse that's on the club.)

VictorAkwaowo1(皇马球迷)：直到第86分钟才第一次射正，曼联真是让人头大！(Manchester United recorded their first shot on goal in the 86th minute I find that mind blowing.)

purple_blaze(英格兰球迷)：其实他们过去4场比赛总共就只有5脚射正而已…(They have 5 shots on target in the past 4 games.)

曼城4-3热刺，因客场进球遭淘汰