小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”！最近的国际足坛精彩看点层出不穷，德利赫特加盟尤文，格列兹曼加盟巴萨，各豪门也纷纷开启了季前赛之旅，而阿尔及利亚则赢得非洲杯冠军。好了，话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧！

尘埃落定，德利赫特加盟尤文

Cvein(曼联球迷)：今年尤文的联赛冠军稳了！(I think Juventus could win the league this year.)

Mustardios(未知主队球迷)：尤文签下我，也能稳拿意甲冠军…(They could win the league even with me.)

nicklo2k(阿森纳球迷)：德利赫特只不过是弱化版的穆斯塔菲而已！(Poor man’s Mustafi.)

Bear1375(曼联球迷)：这不公平，你怎么能将无名之辈和世界杯冠军相比呢！(Not fair, comparing a World Cup winner to a nobody.)

Pathofkappa(曼联球迷)：肥皂剧终于结束了！接下来要看谁啦？(Saga over, what are we going to do now?)

AnnieIWillKnow(切尔西球迷)：马儿无处不在。(There's always Neymar.)

Nonachalantly(未知主队球迷)：感觉不错，再也不用每天在17条格列兹曼和德利赫特的新闻上点击“隐藏”了！(Really feels good to know I won't have to click "hide" on 17 Griezmann and De Ligt threads every single day.)

Kokeiro(皇马球迷)：我还是很高兴他没去巴萨的…(Happy to see him not going to Barcelona honestly.)

格列兹曼加盟巴萨，马竞不认同违约金数额

JoshyyJosh10(巴萨球迷)：我只求欧冠不要再被逆转了，我的小心脏真受不了了…(Please no more CL bottled leads. My little heart can’t take it anymore.)

Ed22bulls(巴萨球迷)：想开点兄弟，说不定下次是被双杀呢！(Take it easy bro, perhaps we can lose both legs next time.)

BRAGADU(巴萨球迷)：要是我们下赛季还是赢不了欧冠…(If we dont win a CL this season...)

Grympy(利物浦球迷)：那就会怎样？(What would happen?)

bigby5(巴萨球迷)：当然是巴尔韦德续约啦！(Valverde gets an extension.)

Dark_Enganche(皇马球迷)：再也没有比看你两个死敌互相撕逼更有意思的事了！(There's nothing better than watching two of your biggest rivals engage each other in a retard fight.)

Unrectify(皇马球迷)：这简直比看小黄片还要爽哦！(This is better than watching porn.)

vadapaav(英格兰球迷)：这转会就像是漫威电影一样，最后还能给你来个彩蛋…(Just like a marvel movie. There is always that post credit scene drama.)

Eirreg(未知主队球迷)：夺得今年奥斯卡最佳转会奖的是…(And the winner of the Transfor d'Or Award is...)

Damrider(曼城球迷)：哈哈，我们再也不是(转会花销)第一多的了！毁掉足球的另有其人！(We are not the first anymore hooray! someone else is ruining football!)

Damrider(曼城球迷)：宝贝，我们仍然是第一…(still number one baby.)

Mbaban(皇马球迷)：现在巴萨每年都会花1亿买人，一年一巨星啊！(Barcelona is getting a 100+ million accomplished player each year now.)

123Beastman(未知主队球迷)：巴萨竟然成了银河战舰，感觉有点搞笑…(Kinda funny how Barcelona have become the Galactico club.)

SlowAtMaxQ(巴萨球迷)：如果马竞真坚持要我们多付钱，那我们能不能把格子退回去…(if they actually force us to pay up but we can't so we just send greizmann back.)

zoogly123(利物浦球迷)：终于有人陪登贝莱玩堡垒之夜了！(Finally Dembele has someone to play Fortnite with.)

JoshuaFC(巴萨球迷)：距离法塞罗那又近了一步。(One step closer to Francelona.)

damon02(费耶诺德球迷)：八亿的违约金，看来巴萨真的不想失去格列兹曼啊！(800M release clause, Barca definitely does not want to lose him any time soon.)

catwalq(未知主队球迷)：如果真有球队拿违约金砸格子，我想巴萨会连续开一个月香槟来庆祝的…(I think they would be popping champagne for a month if they lost him to this clause.)

官方：利物浦续约奥里吉

mynamestartswithCa(巴萨球迷)：边看边瑟瑟发抖…(reads in horror.)

kensal78(利物浦球迷)：就算奥里吉不再为我们踢一分钟球，他也能称得上是我军名宿了！(He could never play another minute for us and still be a legend.)

giddy07(利物浦球迷)：我得评论一句，以证明我亲眼见证了我们四座金球奖获得者续约啦！(Commenting just so I can say I saw it when the 4 time ballon d'or winner signed a new contract.)

Computer_User_01(利物浦球迷)：不要这么贬低奥里吉！(Don’t talk him down like that.)

GlumElderberry(霍森斯球迷)：红军传奇、巴萨克星，这就是迪沃克-奥里吉！(That’s “Liverpool legend, Barcelona enemy” Divock Origi to you.)

Computer_User_01(利物浦球迷)：你忘了他还是“荣誉马德里主义者”。(You forgot ‘Honorary Madridista’.)

凯恩超远吊射绝杀，尤文2-3热刺

Shane4894(热刺球迷)：德利赫特上场，小卢卡斯进球，真是梦回阿姆斯特丹啊…(De Ligt comes on.. Moura scores. Flashbacks to Amsterdam.)

wmjm99(热刺球迷)：据说德利赫特做噩梦还梦到了小卢卡斯呢！(They say De Ligt has nightmares of Lucas Moura.)

FriendlyTrooper(切尔西球迷)：罗纳尔多和孙纳尔多同场竞技，简直把我看湿了…(Ronaldo and Sonaldo on the same pitch making me moist.)

Divorceturtle(未知主队球迷)：我只知道篮球比赛最后会扔一个超远投篮，没想到足球也有…(I knew they would throw a long shot by the end time in basketball game, but never thought it also could occur in football.)

Kanedrick_Lamelar(热刺球迷)：想到对方守门的是什琴斯尼，顿时又多高兴了100倍！(It’s 100 times better considering Szczesny is in goal)

10Trequartista10(尤文球迷)：看到伊瓜因和C罗一起踢球，仿佛一下子回到了10年前一样…(Seeing Higuain and Ronaldo together. Honestly would never have imagined 10 years back.)

Codespyder(未知主队球迷)：伊瓜因看起来就像比C罗老10岁，但其实他比C罗还年轻两岁多…(He looks 10 years older than Ronaldo even though he's over two years younger.)

6nicee9(未知主队球迷)：当你也开始脱发的时候，就会感觉所有男人发际线都在后退…(Once you start you get bald you notice all men’s receding hairlines.)

再次相遇，阿森纳2-1拜仁

Bobby2221(阿森纳球迷)：拜仁的进球是少打了一个零吗？(Didn’t they miss a zero for Bayern’s goals?)

Demderdemden(德国球迷)：阿森纳不会防守，而拜仁不会进攻，让我们看看接下来会发生什么。(Arsenal can't defend. Bayern can't finish. Let's see what happens.)

Thegiancalvo(阿森纳球迷)：我早就喜欢看国际冠军杯了！(Always rated the ICC.)

Windowhihi(未知主队球迷)：阿森纳要赢得德甲冠军啦！(ARSENAL IS WINNING BUNDESLIGA..)

焦点之战，拜仁3-1皇马

Bolah(皇马球迷)：在穆里尼奥和孔蒂手下踢了这么多年球，不知道现在库尔图瓦看到门前只有两个后卫会不会被震惊到…(After all those years with Mou and Conte it must have been a shock for Courtois to move to a team that defends with one or maybe two players.)

GabiiN(瑞典球迷)：不要忘了西蒙尼哦！(Don't forget simeone.)

Aclarkfifa(未知主队球迷)：阿森纳>拜仁>皇马实锤了！(Arsenal > Bayern > Madrid then.)

Ezclapper(未知主队球迷)：莱万其实也是个大块头，结果站在聚勒旁边就像个小屁孩儿一样…(Lewandowski is not a small guy, but he looks like a child next to Sule..)

J_Moola(AC米兰球迷)：皇马集齐了7个边锋，到底想干什么？(What does Madrid do with 7 wingers?)

Lutzelien(拜仁球迷)：能分给我们一个吗？(Give one to us? )

Donniedarkero(皇马球迷)：楼上你们的要求我们答应了，决定把贝尔给你们哦！(Your wish was granted and have been rewarded with Gareth Bale.)

Jabari313(特立尼达和多巴哥球迷)：我觉得拜仁可能不需要另一个常年受伤的边锋了…(Dont think Bayern need another injury prone winger.)

季前赛再聚首，利物浦2-3多特

Rompskee(阿森纳球迷)：这差不多就是利物浦前范戴克时代的防守…(Looking a whole lot like the pre-VVD Liverpool defense.)

Chiswell123(曼城球迷)：刚刚还看到一个穿着曼城球衣的哥们给举着利物浦围巾呢！(Just saw a guy in a man city kit holding a Liverpool scarf loll.)

场面激烈，利物浦1-2塞维利亚

Sean-An-tSneachta(未知主队球迷)：塞维利亚踢得还是不错的，除了那几个格斗运动员之外。(Seville have been quite good apart from the mma stuff.)

annist0910(利物浦球迷)：这场比赛真正的赢家是我们还没断的腿…(The real winners are our unbroken legs.)

一球小胜，曼联1-0国米

Evertomfc(未知主队球迷)：卢卡库下半场是要代表国米出场了？(Lukaku comes on for inter at halftime?)

drizzt001(爱尔兰球迷)：如果国米踢得还是这么莽撞的话，曼联就得提高卢卡库的要价了！(If Inter insist on being cunts United should up Lukaku's price in response.)

三扑点球，狼队点球大战胜曼城

McWomble(狼队球迷)：说实话，英超亚洲杯冠军才是最有分量的英超冠军！(Let's be honest, this is probably the most prestigious Premier League trophy in the world am I right?)

SmoothVag(未知主队球迷)：利物浦甚至都没有机会赢它呢！(Liverpool didn't even come close.)

V_Vutha(未知主队球迷)：瓜迪奥拉就是不行，离开梅西连英超亚洲杯都赢不了！(Fraud. Can’t win the PL Asia trophy without Messi.)

TigerMask18(曼城球迷)：瓜瓜，谢谢你带来的美好回忆，但现在是时候说再见了！(Pep, thanks for the memories. But it's time to say Goodbye.)

Subwayejse(利物浦球迷)：...真的吗？(...Really?)

勇夺非洲杯，阿尔及利亚1-0塞内加尔

Sgdbdjos(甘冈球迷)：看来我在法国是睡不着觉了。(Rip my sleep in France.)

(注：法国有大量阿尔及利亚裔移民)

Pashazz(莫斯科中央陆军球迷)：巴黎今天怕要被摧毁了…(Paris will be destroyed today.)

TeKaeS(巴黎圣日耳曼球迷)：握日哦，算了，反正今天也没打算要睡觉的。(ah fuck, didn't want to sleep tonight anyway.)

Notorious6(未知主队球迷)：梅西也不过就是阿根廷马赫雷斯而已！(Messi is just the Argentinian Mahrez though.)

ThatBlackGuy_(肯尼亚球迷)：这比赛还是比“权力的游戏”大结局要好看一点的…(Better entertainment than the final season of Game Of Thrones.)

好了，亲爱的小伙伴们，本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。让我们拭目以待，来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧！