国外也有段子手：留给阿根廷的时间不多了...

小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”！上周的国际赛场精彩看点层出不穷，阿根廷在美洲杯首战负于哥伦比亚，巴西战胜玻利维亚，乌拉圭战胜厄瓜多尔。女足世界杯赛场，中国女足战胜南非，掌握出线主动权；而美国女足则以13-0的悬殊比分战胜泰国队。好了，话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧！

开局不利，阿根廷0-2哥伦比亚

janembutt27(阿根廷球迷)：起码我们还是能击败卡塔尔和巴拉圭的…对...对吧？(At least we can beat Qatar and Paraguay...right?)

bored-skull(未知主队球迷)：与此同时，马特奥在家里说：“我是哥伦比亚球迷！”(Meanwhile Mateo Messi at home "I'm Colombia fan".)

Lorenzo_Insigne(未知主队球迷)：比赛踢了25分钟，我才发现原来迪马利亚原来也在场上…(Took 25 minutes for me to realise Di Maria was playing.)

Marpe(巴西球迷)：迪马利亚应该留一个阿圭罗或者奥塔门迪那种奇葩发型，这样我们就能记住他也在场上踢球了！(Di Maria should get a showy hairstyle like Aguero or Otamendi, so that way we can at least remember that he is playing.)

iciboy(布莱克本球迷)：我曾经看过阿森纳和布莱克本的后防线，但要是论摆烂的程度，他们还是比不上阿根廷的后防线。(I've watched Arsenal defend, Blackburn rovers defend but none of them are as close to as shit as Argentina are at defending. Shocking…)

DIRTYDAN555(桑托斯球迷)：如果你想看真正的足球的话，那我就友情提醒一下，加拿大和法属马提尼克岛马上就要在金杯赛里相遇了！(In other words, Canada is about to play Martinique in the gold cup if you want actual quality football.)

New_Diet(委内瑞拉球迷)：我还是不理解，阿根廷有这么多大牌球员，为啥最后却踢成了一坨翔？(I still don't understand how Argentina manages to make great players play so shitty.)

deception42(美国球迷)：阿根廷是可以派出11个大牌球员，但问题是他们全都是前锋…(Argentina can field 11 great players. The problem is that they're all attackers.)

Pringlydingly(未知主队球迷)：阿根廷这比赛就像是一个巨大的面包圈一样，所有人都在边上跑，没有一个人在中间组织…(Argentina looking like a big donut any time theyre attacking. Not one player in the midfield. What is going on.)

Sal21G(阿根廷球迷)：我想念以前还有小马哥为国拼到肛裂的日子…(I miss the days of holding mid mascherano splitting his anus for his country.)

Zakshowtime(切尔西球迷)：过去3年里阿根廷就一直这么狗血，我就不明白为啥很多人还觉得他们输球很奇怪？(For the past three years Argentina have really been struggling and I don’t understand why people are surprised.)

Pistachio269(阿根廷球迷)：其实…输球我一点都不惊讶…(I mean I can’t say I’m surprised.)

库鸟两球，巴西3-0玻利维亚

Tupiniquim(克鲁塞罗球迷)：在巴西队踢球的库鸟才是最好的库鸟！(Brazil's Coutinho best Coutinho.)

Guyston(利物浦球迷)：“利物浦”这几个字可不是那样写的啊！(That’s not how you spell Liverpool.)

williamm3(利物浦球迷)：我是不是很坏，我现在还是喜欢库鸟…(Am I a bad person for liking Coutinho still?)

maroonmartian9(利物浦球迷)：心里还是对他有着脆弱的一面...(still have a soft spot for him.)

thewhat23(洛杉矶银河球迷)：看着这么多传中，还以为是曼联在比赛呢！(Looks like I'm watching Manchester United with all the crosses.)

diamondsam2(曼联球迷)：这比赛简直比我在FM里玩圣马力诺还要一边倒！(This game was more one sided than my FM career with SAN Marino.)

ItsAWarZoneOutHere(墨西哥美洲球迷)：这比赛看起来就像是几天前刚刚组织起来，并且是在谁家的后院里踢一样！(This looks like it was organized in the last few days and practiced in someones backyard.)

interfan1999(国米球迷)：我请愿让美洲杯在玻利维亚举办，这样玻利维亚就有机会夺冠了！(Petition to host every Copa America in Bolivia so they have a chance to win it.)

(注：玻利维亚平均海拔超过3000米，是世界平均海拔最高的国家)

苏神卡瓦尼进球，乌拉圭4-0厄瓜多尔

Stupdizbu(乌拉圭球迷)：我爱我狭小却又伟大的祖国！(Love my little big country!)

LordVelaryon(多特球迷)：现在乌拉圭就差格列兹曼进个球了。(only Griezmann is left now.)

Gnorrn(未知主队球迷)：厄瓜多尔的比赛战术就是肘击所有乌拉圭球员的脸…(Ecuador's strategy: elbow all of Uruguay's players in the face.)

nylujjjVA(未知主队球迷)：如果巴萨聪明点的话，不如直接引进卡瓦尼对苏亚雷斯进行轮换，他们在国家队里简直是有化学感应！(Barcelona would be smart to at least consider bringing in Cavani as a sub or possibly start some games to rest Suarez. They have chemistry from NT play.)

掌握出线主动权，中国女足1-0南非女足

Dallas_FC(达拉斯球迷)：哇哦，中国女足对阵南非女足一直保持不败，并且进球失球比是28-0！(Wow China is undefeated against South Africa 28 goals to 0.)

javk5pakfa(多特球迷)：啊，如果我们还是本场的状态，下场面对西班牙将会很困难！还是得冷静下来，更多地掌握球权！(Ughhhhh if we continue to play like this we can't do anything to Spain! Gotta stay calm and keep possession more!!!)

Nycgarbage(纽约城球迷)：南非女足踢得就像是少一人作战一样…(Looks like RSA is playing a man down they have absolutely no attack…)

Gaminium(法国球迷)：实际上她们是少了11人作战…(actually it looks like they are 11 men down.)

(注：此处men双关)

不可思议！美国女足13-0泰国女足

VictorAkwaowo1(皇马球迷)：希望本场比赛不要影响美国和泰国的国际关系…(Hopefully this game doesn’t affect USA’s relationship with Thailand lmao.)

Nikicaga(未知主队球迷)：美国是在泰国发现了石油资源了吗？(Did they find oil in Thailand or what?)

Hunchovis(未知主队球迷)：这绝对是对日内瓦公约的公然挑衅！(Absolute violation of the Geneva Convention.)

Santeyan(未知主队球迷)：反正这也不是美国第一次对东南亚国家不遵守日内瓦公约了…(Not the first time the US breaks the Geneva Convention rules against south east Asians.)

MassiveOutlaw(美国球迷)：从车里出来走到办公室的这段时间，我错过了3个进球。(I missed three goals in the time it took me to walk from my car and into work.)

Baraboosh(加拿大球迷)：当时世界杯德国踢巴西的时候，如果勒夫没让球员半场时就收手，会不会也踢成这个比分了…(is this what Germany v Brazil would have looked like if Low didn't tell his team to settle down at halftime?)

Przemek_Juan(未知主队球迷)：这就像是玩FIFA的初级模式一样！(This is like playing FIFA on beginner difficulty.)

JALbert(曼联球迷)：不，FIFA的初级模式会在你5-0领先的时候就提醒你已经掌握了如何操作，然后就会让你提升难度之类的…(No, because FIFA on beginner difficulty tells you you've mastered it and asks if you want to turn the difficulty up at like 5-0.)

Jannukaz(热刺球迷)：美国队的门将是不是已经无聊得快死了…(USA's goalie must have been bored to death.)

BVB-Oeli(德国球迷)：比赛快结束的时候，德国直播解说员都在抱怨说要怎么把这场比赛做成5分钟的集锦…(towards the end of the game the german commentator was complaining about how he is supposed to fit all of this in the 5 min highlight video of the match...