小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，瓦伦西亚战胜巴萨夺得国王杯冠军，拜仁完胜莱比锡获得双冠王，国米获得欧冠资格，AC米兰将战欧联杯，而曼联元老和拜仁元老队的比赛也吸引了诸多球迷的目光。好了，话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧！

无缘国王杯冠军，巴萨1-2瓦伦西亚

NightsWatchh(阿森纳球迷)：巴萨这赛季的剧情，就像是权游那俩编剧写的一样…(Barca playing like their season was written by D&D.)

Alandegeneres(巴萨球迷)：裁判你能不能在我尿裤子前就把终场哨给吹了？(Hurry up and blow the final whistle before I piss myself.)

Wombat1886(苏黎世球迷)：巴萨踢得就像世界杯上的西班牙队一样！(Spain at the world cup.)

xDob(巴萨球迷)：你确定巴尔韦德不是洛佩特吉的兄弟吗？(Are we sure Valverde isn't lopetegui's brother?)

LosTerminators(巴萨球迷)：失望，但不感到意外。(Disappointed but not surprised.)

Tsubasa_sama(利物浦球迷)：等梅西退役后，巴萨究竟要怎么办…(What on earth are Barca gonna do when Messi retires?)

科学双冠王，拜仁3-0莱比锡

ninjapenguin12(未知主队球迷)：我还真希望莱比锡能把比赛扳平再拖到加时，这样我就能多看30分钟罗贝里了…(Selfishly hoping Red Bull equalize (then Lose in extra time) so i can enjoy an extra 30 mins for them.)

IamMrEric(皇马球迷)：要是当年罗本和斯内德都留在皇马该多好，这阵容简直逆天啊！(If only Robben and Sneijder stayed. That would have been one hell of a squad.)

Username28(未知主队球迷)：一队不容二秃。(Too many bald for one squad.)

国米晋级下赛季欧冠，米兰进欧联

zero237(巴萨球迷)：意甲的争四大战，可比英超争四精彩多了！(Italian top 4 battle > English top 4 battle.)

iftair(贝蒂斯球迷)：意甲争四是为了踢欧冠，而英超争四就像是都想去踢欧联杯一样…(One battle was teams WANTING CL spots while the other the teams fighting for Europa spots smh.)

rail_bird(利物浦球迷)：如果你朋友里有国米球迷，赶紧打个电话看看他们是不是还活着…(If you got an Inter fan in your life, give em a call and make sure they are alive.)

Treyqa(未知主队球迷)：这10年里踢欧联杯的“豪门”有点多啊…(It's fucking crazy how so many "big" teams are in Europa League these past 10 years.)

光阴的故事，曼联元老5-0拜仁元老

Rinacio(拜仁球迷)：为啥我们的元老队总是发生惨案…(Why do our legends always get dicked on in these games.)

Matinthebox(拜仁球迷)：别怕，今年夏天咱们的元老队就会迎来里贝里、罗本和拉菲尼亚三位强援啦！(hey at least they are set to be joined by Ribéry, Robben and Rafinha in the summer.)

drripdrrop(未知主队球迷)：这赛季老特拉福德球场最好的传中，竟然来自44岁的贝克汉姆…(best cross at OT this season is 44 years old Beckham.)

lmhan98(曼联球迷)：小贝的终结能力比现在我们大多数球员要好多了…(Honestly sharper finishing than most of our players.)

Raintrooper7(曼联球迷)：这支元老队都有可能击败我们的一线队！(This team would probably beat the United first team.)

AdventurousChapter(阿森纳球迷)：小贝和索尔斯克亚的年龄差不多，可索帅看起来就像是小贝他爹一样…(Insane that Ole looks like Beckham's dad yet they're the pretty much the same age lmao.)

好了，亲爱的小伙伴们，本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。让我们拭目以待，来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧！